He sat down beside her and smoked his cigar,
Smoked his cigar, smoked his cigar.
He sat down beside her and smoked his cigar,
Smoked his cigar ha-ha-ha.
He said that he loved her but oh how he lied,
Oh how he lied, oh, how he lied.
He said that he loved her but oh how he lied,
Oh how he lied ide-ide-ide.
They were to be married but somehow she died,
Somehow she died, somehow she died.
They were to be married but somehow she died,
Somehow she died ide-ide-ide.
He went to the funeral just for the ride,
Just for the ride, just for the ride.
He went to the funeral just for the ride,
Just for the ride ide-ide-ide.
He sat on the tombstone and laughed till he cried,
Laughed till he cried, laughed till he cried.
He sat on the tombstone and laughed till he cried,
Laughed till he cried ide-ide-ide.
The tombstone fell on him and squish-squash he died,
Squish-squash he died, squish-squash he died.
The tombstone fell on him and squish-squash he died,
Squish-squash he died ide-ide-ide.
She went to heaven and fluttered and flied,
Fluttered and flied, fluttered and flied.
She went to heaven and fluttered and flied,
Fluttered and flied ide-ide-ide.
He went to t'other place and frizzled and fried,
Frizzled and fried, frizzled and fried.
He went to t'other place and frizzled and fried,
Frizzled and fried ide-ide-ide.
Now the moral of this story is never tell lies,
Never tell lies, never tell lies.
Now the moral of this story is never tell lies,
Never tell lies ies-ies-ies.